Pavia is now at war, after a unilateral declaration by Rhode Island. (Unsplash) Pavia is now at war, after a unilateral declaration by Rhode Island. (Unsplash)

Rhode Island has declared war on Pavia, despite the government denying its involvement in allied war efforts.

In a public statement released today, Rhode Island stated that Pavia “decided to get involved despite having zero business being in the war”.

The statement alleges that Pavia has been providing real-time information about the location of Rhode Island fighters in Pavia to Pavia’s military allies.

The allegations come after Rhode Island made threats to bomb Pavia and repeatedly entered Pavian territory on reconnaissance.

A spokesperson for the Pavian Government refuted the claims and stated that Pavia continues to seek a diplomatic resolution to the war.

Before making the declaration, two Rhode Island fighters entered Pavia and placed snitches throughout the inhabited territory despite having previously been asked through diplomatic channels to remain outside Pavia.

The aggression continued after the declaration.

Rhode Island fighters then bombed travel infrastructure connecting Pavia with its allies and re-entered Pavia to place more snitches.

Snitches have been placed so thoroughly that even caves are being monitored by enemy fighters, coast guard officials say.

The national threat level remains at certain.

Pavians are advised to exercise extreme caution and only enter the city if adequately protected in a bunker.

27 August 2022: The article was updated to state the national threat level as certain. We regret the error.

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